Even today, in the age of technology, we never stop talking about high human feelings like friendship and love. “Love lives for three years”, an ultimatum, affirmative phrase appeared thanks to the novel of the same name by the French writer Frederic Beigbeder. The essence of the novel is based on a hormonal (biological) theory, when, after three years of “love”, the brain returns to its normal rhythm and hormones stop stimulating “emotional dependence on each other.” Is it really true? Let’s find out!
Love as a myth
It is not entirely correct to use the term “love” in a biological context, since very often this concept is understood as attraction, excitement, attachment, and similar terms. The strange combination of love and genetics is easily dispelled by scientific observation:
- Charles Darwin (the author of the theory of evolution) writes about sexual selection as the reproduction of better and more competitive generations;
- Vigen Geodakian’s theory (evolutionary theory of sex) considers sexual dimorphism as a key component of human development as a biological species;
- In the fundamental existential philosophy of Arthur Schopenhauer, the feelings of two people are focused on the goals and objectives of the genus, where the main stimulus of the relationship is the procreation in the most beneficial way;
Thus, from a superficial analysis of theories and concepts, we can conclude that scientists and thinkers did not always designate love as something dependent on the work of hormones, moreover, they did not always attach any true meaning to it.
Three years is not the end
Indeed, in psychological science, there are crises of relationships (not love!), in which the everyday and emotional experiences can be attributed approximately to the age of relationships. Also, psychologists often write about crises of one year and seven years, which is comparable to the actual age-related crises of a child. In this case, if there is a crisis in the relationship, it is impossible to talk about their end. Here it is more appropriate to say about more solid work on relationships.
Of course, the fact that love lives for three years is a myth — this is only an individual case. It is worth noting that any relationship is unique since it has its own history and prerequisites, including the life stories of both people. The relationship is a rather difficult thing for scientific research since the analysis must be individually objective. So, love does not live for three years, because it is the result of the painstaking work of two people interested in each other.